I knew what I wanted to write about today, but I couldn’t find the words for it. I stared at my screen trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words. Saying phrases out loud like, “don’t be content”, “make changes”, “don’t settle”, I kept going until the word found me. Ambition. Lately, I admire people with ambition and pity those who don’t.
It might be because of the stage I’m at in life. Most friends are married, engaged, pregnant, buying a house, etc. They are starting their next chapter. And they had so much ambition to accomplish these things. Being a part of these phases for important people in my life is incredible and humbling, and it puts my life into perspective sometimes. I’ve been thinking to myself this week, what are you doing if you don’t have ambition for something? Why be content with a job that you don’t love, or hating your body, or a relationship that isn’t moving forward? My ambition right now is to get my graduate degree, and I’m working my ass off to do it. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough though.
There are days and moments where I think – grad school isn’t enough for me. Why am I not getting married and buying a house? And trust me, those days – my boyfriend could potentially get my wrath. And then I have an Ashleigh moment where I remember that just because others are doing it, doesn’t mean I need to be. I live with the man I love, in a beautiful apartment, and that isn’t changing anytime soon. Yes, of course I welcome an engagement with open arms (suttle hint), but I try to redirect my ambition back into grad school, and art, and work. Because that’s where it belongs. Grad school is enough, because when I graduate and start a career as a school counselor, my life will change.
I’ve come in contact with people lately and have had conversations where I realize they have no ambition for anything. They are a “oh, eventually”, or “yeah, someday”. I realize finances may impact someone’s ability to follow through with their ambition, but if that’s the case, then work on improving that! The fact you aren’t where you want to be should be enough motivation to go for it. Go after that promotion. Apply to different job. Go back to school. Get engaged. Start a family. Build a business. Lose 15 pounds. ANYTHING that you have thought to yourself, do it. I am aware I am in a rare situation where I thoroughly enjoy my job and my field. I am very passionate about it, as I have said before. If you aren’t obsessed with your life, do something about it. And I may sound like a walking Pinterest board, probably because I read it daily. But I mean and believe everything I’m saying. Ask my best friend, I often reply to her with “so do this” or, “so change it”. Don’t talk about it – be about it.
Ok, now I’m actually annoying myself with the positivity.
That’s all I want to say. It’s never too late to do it. I’m only 26, which is why I’m laughing at myself for being such a brat about getting engaged and buying a home. I think I’m “running out of time”, but I’m ONLY 26. I have friends who are 30 and single and going after their own ambitions. Someone on the news this morning said you don’t truly know yourself until your mid 30s. My initial reaction – I definitely know myself by now – but maybe she’s right. I still have so much more life left to live, and so many more goals to set for myself. Maybe someday I’ll have the ambition to be the best PTO Mom there is.
Just be ambitious. Don’t stop wanting things. Don’t stop going after it. Whether you’re 13 or 65.
I didn’t come this far to only come this far.
Also, the featured image is my most recent artwork that I did as a gift for one of my best friends.